Phan Hunger Games - Don't be scared
by ibuypeetasbread
Summary: Daniel Howell is an 18 year old orphan from district 12. His Mother,Father and Brother are all dead. The last year eligible for reaping and he gets picked. On his quest for death he expects nothing but a cold heart. What he doesn't know is that the actual cause of his death will be a broken one. PHAN / RATED M FOR VIOLENCE, FLUFF AND SMUT.
1. Chapter 1

Shit. It's that dream again. I get picked, my name is chosen.

I wake up and throw off the covers; I wipe the beads of sweat off my forehead and sigh. Today is that day that potentially could make that nightmare a reality.

I get up and look into the cracked mirror, the glass shines brightly in the early morning sun. I stare at the reflection that looks back at me.

I look at my gangly long limbs and my olive skin. My dark eyes and my dark hair. You could guess immediately that I am from district 12.

My name is Daniel Howell. I am from the poorest part of the poorest district. I live in an orphan shelter with 10 other kids. I don't get along with anyone, I don't like to talk or show emotion, I can't make friends.

I look out the small window and see the empty street, the mockingjays sing and the dust blows casually over the road.

Soon it will be time for the reaping, I have no one to say goodbye too, no one to worry about. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be part of the games, I have nothing to lose, but.. but something inside of me is terrified.

My brother was entered into the games a couple of years ago, he was only 13. He died, obviously, I remember watching his death on a cracked black and white screen in the kitchen, all the other children in the shelter giving me sympathetic looks or touching me on the shoulder. I watched him bleed to death in that area.

It's my last eligible year for reaping, I am 18, the oldest you can be. If I was to go into that arena, I would try to pay that that capital back, I would kill others…I would kill other children to pay them back for the death of my brother. He should be here with me right now.

I have lived with others my whole life, but my heart is empty.

I wash my face with the cold water and run my fingers through my thick brown hair and style it to the side of my face, I pull on my reaping clothes, the clothes that come out on special occasions. A simple white shirt and light coffee cut offs. I look like I am 14, not 18. I look like a scared boy. I need to look strong. I have to looks strong for him.

I stand looking at myself in the mirror and hear the faint ring of the bell. The sky is grey and unforgiving, the clouds suddenly swell above the trees, they sway in the wind.

"Dan, time to leave."

I hear a knock on my door and a small woman with thinning grey hair enters. Marion runs the orphan shelter, I try not to have feelings for anyone but I can't help loving Marion. She gave me a home and somewhere to sleep and eat. She provides me with clothes and someone to talk to when I feel that my emotions are spilling out. Marion is the only person that I would miss if I was reaped, I owe too much to her.

She walks up to me and puts her arm around me; I feel a swell in my heart.

"Stay positive honey." She smiles.

I give her a look, she knows I don't smile. I haven't smiled since the day he died. I won't let myself.

I walk out of my room and down the stairs; I walk out of the small wooden frame door and down the street to the square. I walk past brothers and sisters holding hands, the sound of pain is in the air, the atmosphere is sterile and cold.

I get my blood taken and try not to flinch, I get assigned to my pen with all the other 18 year old boys, I take no interest in them, I tower above them in height at 6'3 I am probably the tallest. I run my hands through my hair and take notice of my beating heart, it pounds under my chest. My palms begin to sweat.

'You just have to make it through one more Dan, then it will be over, you can work as a slave in the mines instead, have a life full of coal and grime'

"Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! District 12!" A lady enters up onto the stage, a different since last year. They all look as shit as the last. She has cotton candy hair piled up on top of her head and a regal velvet dress; you can clearly see she can't balance in her 8' heels.

"Welcome to the reaping of the 67th annual Hunger Games! My name is Penny Loopins, and I am here to give out the honour of picking the tributes for district 12!" She looks out expecting a reaction but everyone stands there, silence moves through the air. She flinches.

They play the video but I don't bother watching. I don't agree with anything the Hunger Games stand for. The capital all deserve to die, to watch their children take part, to see their loved ones bleed to death, seeing their brothers and sisters get a knife across the throat.

"Ladies first." Her clipped voice rings out across the square. I watch her manicured hand reach into the glass bowl. She picks one lying on the top and walks back to the centre of the stage.

She carelessly opens it and looks up and smiles.

"Annabelle Sinclair."

I can't help gasping. I live with Annabelle, she is actually quite nice to me.

A tall girl with dirty blonde hair walks up onto the stage. I look at her biting her lip and can see her deep brown eyes filling with tears.

"Now for the boys." I am taken out of my trance and focus on the piece of folded paper in her hands.

"Daniel Howell."

Suddenly everything goes slowly; I don't do anything. I just watch the heads turn around. Who's been chosen? Fuck what? I see my face projected up onto the screen. I run my hands through my hair again.

It's me.

I can feel my heart pounding faster. I try and move my legs and try and get a confident stride going, I walk up onto the stage and give a strong face to Annabelle, she gives a nervous smile. Her brown eyes watering and her lip bleeding from biting it too hard.

Penny takes my hand in one arm and Annabelle's in the other and raises them in the air. I give Annabelle a look and she stares back at me, blinking away her tears.

"District 12!" She exclaims, her fake smiles beams through.

We are taken into the justice building and given a couple of minutes. No one comes through those doors to see me. No one cares.

I sit there lonely for 5 minutes staring at the black wall in front on me; I scuff my shoe on the floor and ring my hands.

I am actually going to my death. I need to be smart. I remember my mother telling me I was smart, she told me that smart boys are the best kind of boy, just like my father. That was before they were blown to bits in an explosion, nothing was left. I was at school: only 8 years old, Adrian was only 5. A tear slides down my face but I quickly brush it away.

Eventually I am taken into a car with Penny and Annabelle and we drive away, people look through the window and give sympathetic smiles, just like they did when my brother died.

"Fuck this." I mutter.

Penny turns her hair and gives me a look of disgust. "You have been given this amazing opportunity and all you can say is that, boy you need to improve your act."

I stare at the window and watch my last glimpses of the district, the dusty fields and the muddy streets. I can visualise the shelter, it was small but my home. I highly doubt I will be coming back. I cross my arms and flick my hair over my face. I try and block out everything, just focusing on trying to get through the next couple of weeks. Then I can die a peaceful death; lay in heaven with my brother.

We soon board a train that is going to take us to the capitol. It's like nothing I have ever seen before; my mouth opens wide with excitement. I look to my right and see Annabelle looking at my face. I quickly close my mouth and pull my hair over my face.

I am shown to my room and I close the door, looking for a lock but there isn't. Fuck. Can't we have any privacy.

I throw my shirt off and walk into the shower room. I have only heard about a shower before. I turn it on and expect the usual stone cold water to pace down my skin. Instead warm water splashes me, I sends a nice feeling through my body. I don't smile but it makes me feel better.

I pull on a another white shirt from the closet and look out the window, I wonder which district we are passing now. Ten? Seven?

I knock on my door and then the sound of sliding paper as a note appears from underneath the door frame.

_Come watch the reaping's with me _

I throw on my cut offs and open the door. I am faced with Annabelle. She almost matches me with height. Her brown eyes deep and her blonde hair falls in strands across her face. I can see her skin is red and blotchy like she has been crying.

She was one of the first people I talked to when I joined the orphanage. I was 8 and she was 7. She slid me a note under my bedroom door

_Do you want to be friends. I doesn't seem like you have any _

She talked to me because I didn't have any other friends in the house. I replied and it carried on. It was quite fun at first, we only communicated in letters and notes.

It stopped a couple of years later.

I stopped replying to her notes when my brother died. I shut everyone out. I stopped writing to her and she stopped trying to talk to me.

I look down at the bit of paper in my hand and look back at her eyes, blotchy and red.

It reminds her of the past as well, she gives a brief smile, I manage to keep my face straight.

"Come watch them with me." She wipes her eyes "Please." She whispers.

I silently take her hand and walk her to the main carriage. Penny and our mentor who I assume is Haymitch sit round the table.

We sit down on the floor and look at the screen.

I give her a reassuring look and watch the anthem blare out. The Hunger Games begin.

I'm not really bothered about any of this, I try and think about other things, there is really no fucking point; I'm going to die anyway.

I notice a guy from district 1, with spiked blonde hair; he looks arrogant, raising his eyebrows and volunteering without a second thought, lunging through the crowd like a machine.

I take notice of a girl from district 3. She is quite tall and has white blonde hair piled up on her head. Her eyes are green and menacing and she has a splash of red lipstick across her mouth. She strides onto the stage and blows kisses out the audience. I look at Annabelle and her nose wrinkles in disgust.

I just look at the ground for the next couple of minutes, I am looking at the faces that I will have to kill or more likely be killed by. There are children much smaller than me, children that are 13 years old. I watch a boy from district 3 get reaped, he looks the same age as my brother when he was picked. It makes my heart break a little more inside. I feel the tears stinging in my eyes. I try to blink them away.

I recover my stony expression and stare emotionless into the big screen. I watch the girl from district 4 get reaped, average looking with fair hair and aqua blue eyes. But suddenly I see something and feel an emotion that I haven't ever felt before.

It's completely unexpected.

I don't know what's happening.

I am face to face with the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. Pale porcelain skin, eyes as big planets and the colour of several blue oceans. His lips are small and rosebud like. He is just as tall as me and has a very skinny frame, his jet black hair flicks over one of his eyes. He gasps and blinks nervously as he joins the stage.

But I am sure as they screen shows that close up that I have witnessed the very person that will destroy me in these games.


	2. Chapter 2

I have another shower the next morning and let the warm water run down my grubby skin, I towel dry my hair and watch the curls form, I throw on the shirt and cut offs I wore last night and walk into the carriage for some food.

Food.

Everywhere. At the orphanage there always was a shortage, they did their best but with 10 mouths to feed it got tight. I made sure that I got it before it ran out and spent hours outside foraging. I know the basics of what I can eat and how to prepare it. It gave me a bit more energy than the usual person from 12.

But this. Brightly coloured pastries, fruits, juices. We had nothing like this back home. Grains and beige slop. Squirrel and rabbit. But this is something else.

"Try some of this." I look up and see Annabelle holding a cup of steaming brown liquid. "It's called hot chocolate."

"Thanks." I take the cup and sip cautiously. The sweetness explodes over my tongue. It's amazing, like drinking gold. My eyes light up "This is really good."

"I know." She smiles.

The warmth in her eyes almost makes me want to smile back.

We eat in silence; I cram the food in my mouth like it's going to be taken away from the table.

She gets up and pushes in her chair.

"See you later." She says.

"You too." She walks to the door. "Are we getting made over today?" I put down my bread roll.

"Yes." She turns and looks at me.

"Oh well, good luck."

"I hope I don't come back and see you with pink hair." She gives a small laugh.

She waits and looks at me. Waiting for some emotion. She gives up and walks through the doors.

I finish eating my bread and then make my way down the remake centre. I look at myself in the mirror. I run my hands through my curls and sigh. I will probably look like some kind of freak by the end of the day.

The morning passes in a blur of activity. I am washed and scrubbed down thoroughly like I carry some disease. I am waxed. I am plucked.

"Just close your eyes." I look up and see a lady with long eyelashes staring at me. I look over and notice a small pot with a paintbrush in her hand.

"What… what are you doing?"

"Your hair, trust me it will look a lot better than it does now." She grabs hold of my hair firmly.

I look at the light shade of brown, the waves and the curls fall from her grasp.

I pull away but she yanks my head down against the neck of the chair. I clench my fists and close my eyes, taking one last look at my plain haircut and my muddy brown eyes. I guarantee after make-up and a haircut I will look nothing like I do now.

I can her cold bony fingers slicing my hair, chunks fall past my ears. I have never had my hair styled before, I have done it myself with a knife, hacking bits off until it's the desired length, it's never been very short. I guess I never bothered with looking nice since there was no point.

I can feel the dye being applied, the liquid coats my curls. I am left alone whilst she goes and consults with my stylist. I don't dare to open my eyes.

A while later I feel warm water drip down my skin, I can feel someone else towel dry my hair. Hands gently massage my scalp. I can feel product being applied, and then the hairdryer is turned on, hot air blasts past me.

Next a comb is brushed through my hair dividing sections and creating what she calls as 'texture'. Fuck knows what it's going to look like when I open my eyes.

An hour goes by, my neck aches and the hot air is making my cheeks burn. I sigh and scuff my shoe on the floor.

"You can open your eyes now." The towel is removed from my neck.

Slowly I open my lids.

Fuck. What.

I look in the mirror. But it's not me who stares back.

A strong confident boy looks back. He has glossy chocolate hair, his hair is cut around his ears but the hair is styled up into a quiff. His eyes are a rich deep brown, they look honest and trustworthy, his eyebrows look strong and tidy but not forced. The make-up has gotten rid of the big black bags under my eyes and I am left with a soft tanned skin. I turn my head from side to side. It's not me… I almost look… I almost look.

"Attractive." I turn round and hear a girl's voice.

I swivel my head around and the corners of my mouth try and smile. I don't let them.

I look at her. She looks beautiful, not that she didn't before, but now she looks really stunning. Her blonde hair is luminous and rolls down her shoulders in curls. Her eyes are highlighted in purples and greys, making her almost topaz like eyes shine. Her lips are coloured in a dark purple, making her look powerful but the smile is there, that's what makes her look like Annabelle.

"You scrub up well." She beams.

"Not too bad yourself." I give her a half smile.

"Someone's changed." She touches my hair. "It's gone darker right."

I nod.

"It looks really good." She gives a laugh "You look really great Dan."

I reach out and touch her hair, the blonde curls feel as smooth as the silk shirt that I am wearing. "You look better."

"I know but did I really need improving." She giggles and I give her a mock punch on the arm.

We are then instructed to get changed into our tribute parade outfits. The classic coal miners look. My suit is just a bit burnt around the edges, I have a grey shirt and cut offs. Annabelle wears a charred grey dress with little purple cut outs that match with her make-up.

It's the standard District 12 look. Not enough to make us look weak but not enough to make a lasting impression.

We are guided to the main area with all the tributes; I try and blend in standing awkwardly with the horses.

"I'm going to go over there." Annabelle pats me on the shoulder and gestures to a group of girls.

She is gone before I can reply. I carry on stroking the horse's mane. Looking into the beautiful eyes of theirs. I run my hands through my hair with worry.

I look around at the other tributes. I see the careers. I see the outline districts staying together. I can almost picture everyone from the reaping that I watched last night. I can see almost everyone except, except that boy, the boy with the coal black hair and the blue eyes. The boy that took my breath away.

Suddenly I feel someone behind me.

"Can I stroke him?" It's a boy's voice.

Shit.

I look round and come in contact with him immediately our eyes lock together. His eyes are even brighter in person. He almost matches me in height. His hair is flicked over his face.

I suddenly feel self-conscious and wish I could hide behind my own hair.

"Can I touch him?" He gestures towards the horse.

"Um.. sure."

We just stand there for a minute, he strokes the horse and I stand there speechless in his presence.

He pulls back from the horse and looks me in the eyes.

"Thanks." He quickly shifts his weight to his other foot and swivels in the other direction and walks back to the girl from his district.

He didn't even tell me his name.

Everyone is called into places. Annabelle comes walking back and watches the boy turn away.

"Who was that?" She asks.

"I don't even know." I reply. "But I want to find out more." I mutter under my breath.


End file.
